Journal by Ben

 Hello,

Had another interesting dream last night. I tend to dream quite a bit, however, generally I dream in concepts. About once every two weeks or so I will have a very vivid dream with specific dialogue, setting, and themes. The dream I had last night fits into this category. It went like this:

A friend and I were attending a foreclosure auction. One of those agency auctions where the wares of people who defaulted on loans or went bankrupt were being sold. We weren't interested cars, jewelry; we wanted a metal dingy to cruise on lakes with. Fortunately, this auction was loaded with these cheap metal boats. Within minutes we were loading the boat into a truck, quite proud of our purchase. To celebrate, my friend suggested that we attend a local "club" called the Fox.

Later that night, we arrive at the club, so many groups of people were lingering outside. Some were smoking, others were merely laughing. It gave me a sense of community, that this many unrelated people could be so jovial after witnessing the female form on stage. We were not 10 steps from the door when, I assumed at the time, a dancer stormed out yelling obscenities at the patrons and bouncers. Despite her best efforts, 4 inch heels are not made for speed-walking and sure enough, she tripped and injured her ankle. The other patrons didn't seem to notice, but my friend and I rushed over to give her a hand.

She went on about how the club had been cutting her hours, filling us in about the details of her rise and fall from grace as an exotic dancer. She must have rattled of every key moment of the last year of her life. Finally, she paused and asked for a lift to her place. My friend and I exchanged glances, we were a little uneasy about the situation, but we knew it was the right thing to do. So we hopped in the car and she directed us to her home.


When we arrived, I fully expected this to be the end of the evening and the dancer would fade into my memory as nothing more than a funny story to tell at work on Monday. I wish that was the case, but she invited us up for coffee. You have to understand that this was a very old building, it didn't even have an elevator. 5 floors, no elevator. Picture me carrying a person to the 5th floor, why I chose to carry her by myself, I will never know. We finally tumbled into her apartment and she hobbled around preparing what was surely going to be mediocre coffee. Watching her hobble around I should have resented her for making me carry her, but it was actually endearing to see her struggle with a simple task.

We all sat down on mix and match furniture, sipping our bitter and weak coffee, talking about religion, politics, work, all topics I was more than happy to provide my insights on. It couldn't have been more than an hour when my friend told us both that he had to leave. I offered to drive him home, but he declined and said the walk would be good for him. With that, me and the dancer were alone, sipping terrible coffee, drenched in an awkward silence.

We must have sat there 6 full minutes when she asked if I could spend the night. She was scared that the owner of the club might try to send a message to her after she had abruptly left. I told her I would spend the night, but on the couch. That wasn't an option for her. So we slept head to foot on her twin bed.

The next morning I left without any trouble at all. We hadn't been visited in the night. Before I left, she gave me her number and wanted me to call her later in the day. I went home, ate, had a quick shower and get ready for the day. I was in the middle of a book when my phone rang, I didn't recognize the number but I was compelled to answer anyhow. It was the dancer, she said my friend was over at her place and that I should come and hang out with them. 

It was a lot of fun, hanging out, it was as if we had all been friends for years. There was one problem though, I could feel tension between my friend and I. We were both vying for the attention of the dancer. Luckily for me, my friend had to excuse himself. After he left, the dancer asked me if we could drive around town for a bit and listen to lame music. We must have driven for just under 20 minutes when she asked me to pull over. I barely killed the ignition when we started to kiss. I was overcome with happiness in this moment, every problem I had seemed to fade away. I lived and existed only in this moment. We didn't stop at a kiss, the situation took over and we took it to the distance. 

********this is where shit gets real*********

After we had finished, I opened my eyes and saw nothing but twigs and branches in my car. And my car wasn't my car anymore. I was driving a Chevrolet Pony with dead plants with me in the back seat. I tried calling the dancer, but the number wasn't in service. I tried calling my friend, but he wasn't picking up. I decided to drive to the club and inquire about her there. My investigation wasn't successful. The club had never even heard of her. 

Dazed and confused I went back home. I had an email from my friend. In that email he kept apologizing for dating the dancer and that he knew how interested I was but that he had to follow his heart. I can't explain how I knew she was a siren, but something just clicked. I was able to see clearly her lulling both my friend and I into a such a state of bliss that we were unable to control our actions, or even our memories. We never really kissed, I did give her my car though. My friend, he wasn't really dating her, but he was paying her rent. 

The funny thing is...I wouldn't trade the false memories for anything.


End 

 Hello,

My friend (and enemy) Tom has been discussing at great length a summer project. You can find his thoughts on the subject here. I love his idea of having a central hub for many different projects with multiple contributors. My potential contribution would be the Tom Hates Ben/Ben Hates Tom blogs we created here and here. I recently put together a short little video tribute to Tom...with a twist. This was not my best video by a long shot, but it felt great to update the blog again.

As soon as I finished the video my head began to swim with the possibilities: cross overs, cameos. I'm really excited. I am going to focus time and energy on this project. 

Tom is a man with a lot of ideas. When Quiksave was presented, I was willing to help out in whatever way possible. However, when he presented the HQ idea to me, I was instantly on board. So this summer I am going to work hard at updating my contributions and hopefully assist the other arms or departments of the website.

 Hello again,


I am very, very accustomed to having nonsensical dreams. Usually they combine many different elements of my day and things I like. For example: throw in 2 parts of my day, 1 part dinosaurs, 3 parts zombie (or 3 zombie parts), sprinkle in some people I know, and shake for about 7 hours, presto! You have one of my dreams. Well last night I had yet another ridiculous dream, however, this dream had a fairly decent plot...

- - 

I was in a dilapidated coffee shop somewhere up island, probably Port Alberni. Although it wasn't said, I believe I was either hiding from someone or running away from something. As I was drinking my coffee, being sure to keep my head low, an older gentleman who embodies the Canadian spirit was standing between my table and the table of a young lady.

"The world is changing, you know" he said.

Silence followed him.

"Too many people are losing their way, not like this young chap" he says while pointing in my direction.

I keep my head low, making very infrequent eye contact.

"You see, he's just minding his own business, keeping his nose out of things, like a good ol' boy. It's the way things were when I was his age".

I get up from my table, in no way being rude, and excuse myself to the restroom. Upon my return, I find my table full of people who I didn't much care for. They had my phone and were going through my contacts, recent emails, and text messages. I insisted they leave it alone and get out of the coffee shop. My suggestion was met with laughter. I only insisted further keeping an even tone - there numbers were great. This time, however, no one laughed. Instead 2 of them stood up and approached me.

"We have another job for you" the smaller one said to me, his breath reeked.

"Oh yeah? Well I quit already, so find someone else" I replied.

The smaller one let a small, raspy chuckle. "Sure, kid. Listen, we both know you need to do this. You don't have any other purpose".

I say nothing while shifting my weight from one foot to another, am I injured? Or is this how I stand?

With his putrid breath, the small one gestures outside, "The next delivery has to be made, there is a deadline. We will pay you quite handsomely, as always".

Knowing that my next words would surely be a refusal, the big one flashes me his gun. They lead me outside and show me my assignment: a Bugatti Veyron. They tell me it has been specially ordered for non other than Dr. Phil. He had crashed his other car and needed a replacement. 

I hop in the car and take a look at every feature.

"It has a top speed of 253mph, no one will catch you in this" the larger thug tells me, "You have 3 days to make your delivery. $50,000 now and $50,000 when you connect with the Doctor on the other end".

Like a knife, I stab the steering column with they key, put the car in gear, drop the clutch and I'm off. 

Blazing through the first 100 miles, I realize nothing I have driven has responded like this car, weaving in and out of traffic, I might as well be flying.

Unfortunately, inside I know I won't make my connection. I know too much. As soon as that thought fires across my synapse, I lose all control of the vehicle, every system has been remotely shut off.

From a birds eye view, I see the car tumble, flip, and twist into a ball of wreckage.

- -

It was at this point when I woke up.

 Well hello,

Today I decided to do the unthinkable: wake up at 6:30am on my day off. This was one of the best decisions I have made in a very long time. I was able to go for a run, grab a coffee, and do all my house work before 9am! It's amazing how good I feel. I recommend everyone do this, at least once a month, you won't regret it.

I feel different these day, like a new phase of my life is starting. Whether this is true or not, time will tell, but it is almost beyond description. I have a renewed commitment to healthy living, I run at least twice a week, and go to the gym at least 3 times a week. On the weekends I play in a recreational football league. Oh how I love to play football, knowing that I have a game to play pushes me through the work week and for 1 hour and 45 minutes every Sunday nothing matters. There are no bills to pay, no work, there is only me and 6 other guys on the field doing everything we can to win. Even just talking about football puts the biggest smile on my face. 

Not only am I exercising regularly, I am (for the most part) eating really healthy too. I think a lot can be said for a proper diet. I know it is drilled into us a lot that we should eat a balanced healthy diet, but on so many levels I think it should be the most important part of our lives. I won't claim that I only eat healthy foods, in fact, junk food can be therapeutic too. However, by eating healthy 6 days a week, my sleep pattern is improved, my disposition is a lot better, and I have 3 times the amount of energy I used to.

I should probably provide some back info on this health kick. I wasn't obese by an stretch, I was definitely overweight, lethargic, and going down a bad road. I have always been fairly up and down with my health in terms of activity and diet, but I never really crossed the line. I almost crossed that line over the summer and fall. I gained 40lbs without batting an eye. Worst of all, is a lot of people around me noticed this, but I was either content with it or just too dumb to realize. My family urged me to go get a physical done. Luckily, everything checked out fine and on paper I was as healthy as any 21 year old. However, my family doctor filled me in on my family history and that if I didn't make changes I would have diabetes and heart disease to look forward to. Something needed to happen.

So here I am 2 months later, 22lbs lighter, and a lot happier. 

I have a great job, greater friends, and the greatest family, I wouldn't trade what I have for anything.